Host/Adoption Q&A Series: Duncan Family

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Amanda D.

Host/Adoptive Parent

Mom of Willow and Adelyn

 What was your hardest moment during the adoption process?
The loss.
 
The life they once knew is no longer theirs.
 
We struggled with the acceptance of joy when they knew their other family was left behind.

Over the last 10 years, Project 143 has been a part of orphan hosting and witnessed many adoptions from our families.  In an effort to help educate those going through the process of hosting, adoption or both, we have compiled some questions and presented them to our previous families.  Every experience is unique and while the questions may be the same, the answers will be very different!  Please join us over the next couple of weeks as we share the stories of these families in our Host/Adoption Q&A Series!  Our next family to be featured is the Duncan Family.  Please read on for their stories and advice below:

What event or feeling led you to want to host/adopt?

As an already large family of 6 boys and one girl, our daughter was desperate for a sister. Our neighbor hosted several times and we saw her post on Facebook asking for interested families. I had dreamt of a dark-eyed dark-haired sister for our daughter. When I looked at the available children there she was. I knew it was her from the moment I saw her picture.

How did you feel when you met your child for the first time? 

The same as when I gave birth to my other bio children. It was like I had never known she wasn't mine.

At what point did you know this child was part of your family?

The week before we took her back to the airport to go back to her country of birth. It was heartbreaking.

What was your favorite moment during the hosting process?  (Example:  a funny moment with language, cooking together, a breakthrough moment, etc.)

When I arrived at the orphanage. One of our girls yelled "that's my daddy". When our other girl came home from swim she came running. "That is my mom. Hey mom".

What was your favorite moment during the adoption process? (Ex: meeting other kids, meeting other people in-country, trying new foods, etc.)

Being in their country. Being a family. Experiencing their lives.

What was your hardest moment during the hosting process?

Language difference

What was your hardest moment during the adoption process?

The loss. The life they once knew is no longer theirs. We struggled with the acceptance of joy when they knew their other family was left behind. 

What is one bit of advice you can offer to a new host family - one thing you wish someone would have told you?

Do it. Don't think about the what if's. Take a chance. It is life changing

What do you wish you would have done better to prepare for hosting or adoption?

More knowledgeable in the hard stuff. Not everything is rainbows. It can be hard. But it can be so amazing too.

How have your relationships changed with friends/family after your hosting/adoption experience?

Not everyone understands the “why”. We've lost friends. Not everyone understands

If you hosted the same child you adopted, did you find it beneficial?  Would you have adopted without hosting first?

We hosted one child but adopted two children that were related. Surprisingly we bonded quicker with the one we had not hosted

How has your adopted child adapted to their new family and home?

Amazing!!

What is your top resource (or 2 or 3) that helped you and you want to share?

I don't think anything can prepare you for adoption but having a great support system is definitely essential.

To contact out featured family:

Amanda Duncan: (704)960-0935


We would love to hear your story!! 

You can choose to share anonymously or share your name/contact at the end.

THANK YOU in advance for your time and heart to encourage, inspire, and share with those behind you in this journey.

2 unique links depending on if your story continued to adoption:

• Hosting: https://forms.gle/xigTXtm65nMbLDgZ8

• Host/Adopt: https://forms.gle/tDqVjDaZkrjRDWco7

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